“J’ai réappris à vivre seule, étape par étape” (Femmes d’Aujourd’hui)

5 women and a man lived in the first year after separation. 365 days later, it brings the place.

Everyone has their own journey, everyone has their own story, but everyone knows they have made the right decisions by separate. The critical moments of their lives make them question themselves and make them develop.

Julie (35) does not regret…but her children are missing

“I was the first friend to marry, the first to have a baby…and the first divorce. The management was very complicated. I lived with my ex for 20 years, we grew up together, we lived a great moment, our relationship stagnated. I left that day – I left – another big controversy – I was a big cheap hotel room for a few kilometers.

Separation, the right choice

“but, Even if I feel sad, I know I made the right choice. According to my values, I am quiet. My friends later admitted to me that they no longer knew me in the last few years of my life. I’m like closing. As a teenager, I dreamed of adventure, travel and long hiking. Everything I no longer do! It’s not my ex’s fault, it’s me feeling lost. It took me a while to find myself. The mourning process is not linear. There are ups and downs. During the first few months, I suffered from severe insomnia. When a long sadness awaits you, nothing is more like an empty hotel room, and then an apartment. I feel super bad. Today, it still happens to me, but it is getting rarer. transparent

A huge lack

“What I miss most is my kids. I’m not used to their absence. Being able to see them in 2 for only a week, just because I can no longer live with their father, I find it very unfair. I also feel introverted…I feel introverted too.

I never thought I would have to start over at age. Before separation, I had everything: a house, a money square, a family. Today, I only have one rental apartment…and my son. But even though everything makes me proud. Because I found the tranquility that I missed so much. And because I created a new house for my son and me, you feel good. For them, for me…even for my ex, it was much better than it was a year ago. We have many years of life…we should all be happy. I also want to thank my friends network: It’s much easier to be a solo parent when you’re surrounded. transparent

Nora (32) is ready to return a couple

“In the first year after separation, I completely gave up on myself. I’m having parties every night and I haven’t done it since I’m in love. I wake up and hangover often! I think this is the only way I manage separation. I did what I wanted and no one could tell me what I had to do. It took me some time to find a certain balance. There, better! In hindsight, even if my friends care about me, I was happy to live this intense period. Today, I feel like I can land on someone again. transparent

Elodie (35) thinks she has become a better mother

“I would never think I would say this one day except that it was a bit taboo, but I really like being a half-time mom. I have 4 daughters and I love them…but I also need time for myself. The week they were at my ex, I would take advantage of it: I would eat with friends and go to the gym almost every day. Honestly, it’s much easier than before when I had to keep running to get everything. I know my ex is a great dad and I don’t feel inside when I take her girl. I’m sure I’m a better mother than before I’m separated. A friendlier mom, a girl, and my mom is a good mom to me! transparent

Martin (67) feels free

“I’ve been married to my ex for 38 years. I’ve been upset for years, but I’m waiting for my kids to leave my dad. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I made the decision. It made me realize that life is precious and every moment is important. I don’t want to continue living like me.”

Leaving because love disappears

“When I explained to my ex that I wanted to divorce, he asked me if there were anyone else. The facts were even harder to hear: I left him because I no longer liked him. The next few months were horrible. He intended me, to get our kids involved in our arguments, and even to try to join his days. But I got great advice. I cut the channel I’ve been in touch with him for nearly 40 years. This is not easy. Who am I without him? What I really want to do…I had to learn how to live step by step again. I went on a weekend alone and rediscovered freedom, lacking innocence or worry when I got home. happiness! Financially, this is not easy. Our house is not for sale yet, I have no side money. But I have more mental health than all gold in the world. transparent

Love again: Yes, living together: No

Even if I’m happy to play, I don’t regret not doing it earlier. In our couples story, nothing is negative. In 38 years, everything was built together. But in recent years, I did have to force myself to have sex. I’m so glad my body belongs to me again today.

I really don’t miss out on sex – there are some very effective toys that can do the job. After a year of loneliness, even if I don’t want any living together, someone in my life has room. When my grandfather passed away, my grandmother was younger than me today. But she always said to me, “I will never wash any man’s sides and socks again.” I felt the same. I never want to rely on someone again. I don’t know I have too much power. This is the message I want to send to everyone passing by. I live in the autumn of my life… I usually hate autumn. But I, no one else, will make this sunny autumn we can imagine. transparent

Natalie (51) Lives Again

“If you told me a year ago that I would have a new man in my life and 2 girls as a reward, I wouldn’t believe it. But…”

At first it was hell

My life broke down when my ex told me he had someone else. We lived together for 33 years and I think our couple is perfect, but that’s not the case. There is nothing to try when your spouse tells you that it’s over and he’s in love with another 9 months. I went through hell. Our house must have been sold and I had to share the kids in 2 week. This is very unfair. Everything I’ve done for my family for years is the kids I’m going to get the kids to school, they cook and take care of everything…it seems like the counter reset.

Rehabilitation and a tranquil environment

“In the first few months, I was infected: I criticized my ex in front of the kids and wanted them to stand up for me. I couldn’t accept that he was entitled to their love. It took me a long time to understand that these negative thoughts are good for anyone. For the kids, not for me. I did a job beyond hatredI haven’t gotten there yet, but I’m on the right track. transparent

A meeting that changes everything

“End of the day, I met someone. He was fine, he understood me and took care of me because my ex had never done it. I would never imagine it could happen and it was certainly not that fast…but I wanted to give this love a chance. I often compared my 2 couples. I often fell in love with my ex more crazy, I was with his daughters, but kept a distance.

But, not everything is simple. I built something again, which worried me. Because I might lose everything again…a shocking point…even if I just learned that I was stronger than I thought. If it doesn’t work, I’ll start over. I did it once, I can do it again. transparent

Jonathan (45) learned to take care of his children

“I was trampled in the first few months after my divorce. I felt overwhelmed and I couldn’t get rid of it without a wife. I didn’t know what living alone was, I came from my parents and moved directly from her. I always did chores. I always chores, I was cleaning competitions, I was doing chores, but my clothes were good. Everything was stressful.

Find family habits

In the first few months after the separation, I was impressed that my ex was much easier to rebound than it was for me. Women often know how to surround themselves betterIn any case, I have the impression that she has a network around her ready to help her. When I talk about divorced friends, they tell me the same thing.

But today, I managed to find my daily job. There is no doubt that a new partner, my life satisfies me. I know who my friends are, I take care of my house, and my presence is important. Life has reached a turning point I don’t want, but I’m curious to know what the right guild in the following will bring me. transparent

Text: Lisa Gabriels and Susanne Gauder

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