Je suis papa et je fais une dépression post-partum

Colendin is the father of the twins. It has been experiencing postpartum depression since their birth in the fall of 2023. Between extreme fatigue, loneliness and social pressure, he proved his career and the difficulties he encountered as a father.

Before I was in my thirties, I never felt the desire to have a baby. But seeing my friends become parents, I started saying that I might be a great adventure. The more I see other people moving forward, the more I train and unhappy. Then, at the age of 31, I met Carole. I spent some time understanding what the child thinks. I think if more time is spent, I can tell myself moreprepare and mourn my life, which may be different, I may have avoided depression…

However, pregnancy is perfect. We were well prepared for childbirth, which allowed me to feel peaceful, quiet and confident in this role of my future father. I am enthusiastic, happy, and firmly believe that we will take extraordinary adventures. Also, we will have twins! transparent

The impression of being betrayed

“Birth itself is hard to survive. I was sold for a magical moment, unforgettable. But, the most important thing is the stress. On the other hand, on the first day, in the maternity, we were like a little cloud, surrounded by midwife. Because Carroll had some complications, it took us a little and 12 days. It took us 12 days. My nursing home left when I needed to go home.

Reality shocked me. What I’m told about parenting – these prepared sentences are “hard, but worth it” and you’ll see that when it’s yours, that’s not the same thing – suddenly become very false. All the speeches I hear are about reality and I live in a series of constraints and chores. My impression is that I was cheated. Every night, crying, disease, and crying constantly exhausted me. I heard them screaming and I felt empty and couldn’t stand up. I don’t want to take care of them, and after I finish my work, I don’t want to go home. transparent

Huge pressure

“I quickly felt the pressure to be associated with my role as a father. In my family, like many others, my father was rarely involved. My own father never took care of me, and his father was less before him. But today, we expect dad to be in an equal place with mom.

From birth, I felt a form of rejection. All suggestions, brochures, accompaniment are provided for mothers. I had to fight so the nursery stopped dialing Carol just about our kids. Even today, nurseries only talk to my partner when we are looking for them. Paternity leave was too short and when I solicited parental leave on 4/5 it was turned down because too many women in the company had benefited. At each stage, I felt like I had to be a father’s campaign. transparent

The help of contraction

“But besides these obstacles, it was the daily life of twins that made me obsessed with postpartum depression. There were no fathers in my entourage, they had twins or cared for his children like I did. So I could never speak to another father, this feeling of loneliness, this feeling of loneliness is hard to manage.

Little by little, I let myself go. I no longer pay attention to myself. My mom once pointed out my shocking physical condition to me. At that time, I consulted the attending physician. His hearing is great, like contraction. After a few meetings he brought me to a psychologist who provided me with strategies to come back and forth: take a shower, then put on beautiful clothes when I get home from get off work, go out once a week to find the moment for me. But, that’s not enough. I started antidepressant treatment, but a few months later, he caused suicidal thoughts. I realized it wasn’t normal and asked to see a psychiatrist. After a long period of research and endless deadlines, I finally found an expert and prescribed another treatment for me. She also doubted the dysfunction at home (added), which is always there, which probably explains why I live so badly. transparent

A couple of Manchester United

“I know I’m a good father. I never let my children feel their weight. I touched my arms as soon as I got home, and I was there for them. But I felt a great sense of frustration, a loss of freedom. I sometimes feel like I’ve lost my life, not mourned for today’s mourning.

Fortunately, my partner was perfect for support. Even if I told her that I hated my life, she couldn’t hear me and never judged me. The hardest thing for her was when I talked about my suicidal thoughts. She no longer dares to leave me alone at home If I stayed in the attic for a long time, she came to check if I did not take any action. I really want to disappear, sometimes I disband myself and I look at pictures of my family to avoid losing my feet. transparent

“It will be easier…”

“Many people have told me or told me again: ‘You will see that when they no longer pick up the bottle, it will be easier when they walk…’ Every time, it turns out to be wrong, and in my eyes it’s worse, it’s worse in my eyes. I don’t want to be afraid of disappointment, but I will keep hope: when they can communicate, I feel more likely to leave, and I will be more likely to leave.

What helped me was telling me I did what I needed: I asked for help, tested solutions, and even those that didn’t work could get me forward and be where I am today. But I want to restore a truth: without children, we can thrive well. You must stop believing that it is not your parents who will miss your life. I firmly believe there are many ways to be happy. transparent

today?

“The battle is still long. I know one thing. I know one thing.

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